Happy 60th, Mom!

At the first of last month, my sister sent out an email to my me and my other siblings and our spouses letting us know that next month would be our Mom’s 60th birthday (because a lot of us didn’t know it was her birthday, let alone know how old she is). My sister gave us a writing assignment with the vague topic of something Mom has taught us, we learned from her, and/or how she made an impression on our lives. Or something like that. I’m writing this and I’m still not clear. Lil’ Sis said that the grandkids could draw a picture instead of writing something. At first, I was thinking that drawing a picture of something would be easier than writing a whole paragraph, so I drew a picture.

I showed it to my daughter, who insensitively asked, “Why is the chicken laughing at the clown? And why is it raining on the chicken?”

“No, that’s Daddy when he was a kid and he fell down and was crying and my mom, your grandma, made me feel better,” I told her.

“No, it’s a chicken and a clown,” she answered back, finishing the conversation.

Due to certain critics, I scratched the drawing plan* and set to work writing something. Here are a few of the many ways Mom helped me learn important life lessons and also things I want to thank her for.

*The above story is fiction but would have been true if I had attempted to draw a picture.

First of all, as some of us siblings are scattered across the globe, we can’t keep up with family news. So Mom keeps us informed of what is going on with our brothers and sisters, since we seem to take after Dad in writing letters/emails to each other (which means it happens rarely). I really enjoy reading Mom’s emails about happenings in the family. Mom, thank you for them.

Besides the family news emails, Mom sends us packages, newspaper clippings, letters, and cards. We really appreciate how thoughtful she is, especially since shipping is not cheap to Japan, where we live. Sometimes Mom writes that she’s been worrying about us, which comes as a surprise since we usually haven’t been worried. We also appreciate this and feel so loved that she worries more about us than we do about ourselves.

I admire that she courageously rode airplanes for many long hours to come visit us in Hawaii and last June, in Japan. We really appreciate her and Dad’s sacrifices to come visit us and their willingness to try raw foods. Well, at least new kinds of food that were cooked. We loved having them in Japan and sharing the culture with them.

The next few items are things that Mom did for me while growing up that I’m truly grateful to have learned. One of the most obvious things that I always took for granted while growing up and really missed when I moved away was all of the wonderful, home-cooked meals she made for us. I loved most of them, except for meatloaf, but I don’t like any meatloaf. Looking back now I’m amazed at how good of a cook she was and still is, whenever I get a chance to eat her meals.

Speaking of taste, I am very grateful that Mom taught me the importance of having clean language and not repeating swear words or bad language that I heard and learned from my friends. I can still taste the soap that she twice used to wash my mouth out with after I did use such language.

Having clean, laundered clothes was another big thing I took for granted and really missed having after moving away. I also appreciated that she taught me to check my pockets before putting the clothes into the washing machine. This saved me from having experiences like turning white dress shirts to pink dress shirts after forgetting to check the pockets for red pens (which happened to a friend).

Growing up, we always had a clean house thanks to Mom’s hard work. Seeing our dirt/mud footprints on Mom’s clean floors helped us to see that our shoes were dirty before walking into a friend’s house (we usually had to clean the floors after we tracked in mud and dirt). And because Mom had us kids help vacuum the house with our old, heavy vacuum cleaner, I can now quickly vacuum a room with the small, light, but just as powerful vacuum cleaners we have here in Japan.

One other thing that I am grateful to have had while growing up was fruits, jams, and sauces we had year-round, thanks to Mom’s hard work in canning and bottling fruits and vegetables. Not only did these provide nourishment, but they sometimes provided entertainment and strange, new experiences. Like the time one brother mistook spicy salsa as mild chili sauce (with Dad’s help) or the time I drank fermented peach juice (it didn’t taste very good).

Thank you again, Mom, for all that you have done for me and also taught me while I was growing up as well as now. I know you’ve done a lot more for me than what I’ve written here. Have a great birthday and know that I am thinking about you on this special day as well as every day. I love you and my wife and daughter love you also!

Mom being a tourist at Miyajima, Hiroshima, Japan. Behind her is a deer, one of the many found roaming the island.

Experiencing Childhood Again

As you may know, I am the father of a beautiful, VERY energetic daughter. She and my wife are the center of my universe and I really enjoy being a father. As I’ve watched my daughter grow up (when did that happen?), I couldn’t help but compare her childhood to my own.

For the most part, I believe I had an awesome childhood, so I want my daughter to have the same experiences I did, as much as possible. However, her environment and circumstances are very different from what mine were so it is impossible for her to experience everything I did. Plus, her personality, likes, and desires are different from what mine were. Forcing her to experience things that she doesn’t want to would be a very bad idea.

One of the biggest differences is that I grew up in a small town in the USA, in a house with a big yard and empty countryside surrounding it. She has grown up in urban Japan with little open spaces. As a boy, I spent many hours roaming around the surrounding area on my bicycle or on foot, exploring, treasure hunting, building things, sledding in the winter, or just hanging out with friends. I grew up without a TV to watch, video games to play, and I had brothers that were close to my age to play with. We were outside a lot because we had no TV or video games.

My daughter, on the other hand, is an only child. Unfortunately, we are unable to have any more children and I feel really bad that she can’t experience growing up with other siblings to play with, share things, and fight with. She has only lived in apartments with no yards and the most of the surrounding areas are paved with asphalt or concrete.

My daughter has TV, video games, dolls and toys, and many other inside amusements, but she loves playing with other children and loves playing outside. She especially loves going to parks where she can quickly make new friends. When she was younger, I would take her to parks as much as I could. Now that she is older and can go by herself, I encourage her to go (after she has her homework done, of course) when I can’t take her. But this is something that my wife and I don’t see eye to eye on. My wife doesn’t want my daughter to go anywhere by herself, worrying that something could happen to her. I agree that is a worry, but I want her to be playing outside, being independent and trusting her to be cautious.

I do wish that we could live in an area with a lot fewer people (and traffic), more open spaces so my daughter could roam to her heart’s content without us worrying about her too much. I also wish she could have the experience of having brothers and sisters as well as having pets. I also wish that her summer vacations were much longer, instead of only a month.

Some things from my childhood that I don’t wish her to experience include having rock fights (yes, my friends and I threw rocks at each other) and doing roofing work, mostly picking up tons of old, crumbly shingles (which I did a lot of for my dad’s roofing company). I do appreciate the opportunity it provided me to earn spending money and to learn about hard work, but I hated almost every moment of it. How many wonderful hours was wasted being hot and dirty, picking up those old things, when I could have been bored out of my mind.